而且实际上说来，吹牛对于一个人的确有极大的妙用。人类这个东西，就有这么奇怪，无论什么事，你若老老实实的把实话告诉他，不但不能激起他共鸣的情绪，而且还要轻蔑你冷笑你，假使你见了那摸不清你根底的人，你不管你家里早饭的米是当了被褥换来的，你只要大言不惭的说“某部长是我父亲的好朋友，某政客是我拜把子的叔公，我认得某某巨商，我的太太同某军阀的第五位太太是干姐妹”，吹起这一套法螺来，那摸不清你的人，便贴贴服服的向你合十顶礼，说不定碰得巧还恭而且敬的请你大吃一顿燕菜席呢!
That boasting is of extremely great use to one is beyond doubt. Man is a queer animal. Suppose you tell someone the plain truth about a certain matter without holding anything back, he will probably laugh at you scornfully instead of returning a congenial response. On the other hand, suppose, penniless as you are, you brag unabashedly to somebody who knows little about you, “Minister So-and-So is a good friend of my father's,”“ Politician So-and-so is my grandpa's sworn brother”, “I know a certain business tycoon very well,” or “My wife is a nominally adoptive sister of a certain warlord's fifth concubine .” The listener will adore you like a deity or may even, at an opportune moment, respectfully treat you to a big dinner featuring edible bird's nest !
吹牛有了如许的好处，于是无论那一类的人，都各尽其力的大吹其牛了。但是且慢!吹牛也要认清对手方面的。不然的话必难打动他或她的心弦，那么就失掉吹牛的功效了。比如说你见了一个仰慕文人的无名作家或学生时，而你自己要自充老前辈时，你不用说别的，只要说胡适是我极熟的朋友，郁达夫是我最好的知已，最妙你再转弯抹角的去探听一些关于胡、郁达夫琐碎的佚事，比如说胡适最喜听什么，郁达夫最讨厌什么，于是便可以亲亲切切的叫着“适之怎样怎样，达夫怎样怎样”，这样一来，你便也就成了胡适、郁达夫同等的人物，而被人所尊敬了。
People of every description, being aware of the usefulness of boasting, are doing all they can to put it into practice. a minute! You've got to know enough about the person you are boasting to. Otherwise, you'll make a bungle of it and fail to touch a chord in his or her heart. Suppose you meet an unknown writer or a young student who worships men of letters and you want to pretend to be a senior, all you have to say is that Hu Shih is a close friend of yours or that Yu Dafu is your second self. And, what is better, you can try to find out by a roundabout way some trifling personal anecdotes about the two celebrities, such as what Hu Shih best likes to know and what Yu Dafu strongly dislikes, so that you can refer to them affectionately by their first names. Consequently, you'll end up becoming a personage on a par with both of them, and enjoying the respect of all.
如果你遇见一个好虚荣的女子呢，你就可以说你周游过列国，到过土耳其、南非洲，并且还是自费去的，这样一来就可以证明你不但学识阅历丰富，并且还是资产阶级。于是乎你的恋爱便立刻成功了。
When you meet a girl who is vain, just tell her that you have toured to various countries, such as Turkey and South Africa, ...and at your own expense into ! That suffices to prove you are a man of much learning and experience but also well-to-do. And you will thereby win her heart instantly.
