人生不如意事十之八九。生活中，常常有信众来倾诉他们的不幸遭遇。包括健康问题，比如自己患有疾病乃至绝症；生死问题，比如亲朋好友突然去世；家庭问题，比如儿女教育、夫妻感情等等。此外，还有人际关系、事业发展、天灾人祸带来的种种困扰。
Life invariably brings misfortunes. Many Buddhists approach me with their personal adversities, which include health issues from minor illnesses to life-threatening conditions, grief over the sudden loss of friends and family, and issues concerning family life, such as children’s education and marital dynamics. Furthermore, a significant amount of stress arises from interpersonal relationships, career progression, and the aftermath of natural or human-made disasters.
应该说，每个人或多或少都遇到过这些问题，只是方式和程度有所不同。很多人本来按部就班地生活着，一旦遭遇逆境，就方寸大乱，一蹶不振，使人生陷入烦恼，甚至使整个家庭落入痛苦的深渊。
It can be said that everyone faces these challenges, albeit in varying forms and intensities. Those who have enjoyed a predictable life often find themselves unprepared for such hardships, succumbing to despair and, consequently, even dragging their families into grievous suffering.
如果客观分析，一个人或一件事的变故，未必能摧毁我们的生活。那么，究竟是什么让人如此痛苦，如此绝望？真正的原因，往往在于当事人的不接纳，而不是逆境本身。
Objectively speaking, it is probably not the case that a single person or incident has the power to ruin our lives. What, then, drives us into such depths of misery and hopelessness? It often boils down to our denial of the situation, rather than the misfortune itself.
我们总是想不通，自己怎么会遇到这样的事！于是怨天尤人，抱怨社会不公，指责老天无眼。正是这种不接纳，把原来的那点痛苦不断放大。可以说，我们的抗拒有多少，由此而来的痛苦就有多少。
We find ourselves asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and finding no satisfactory answer. This leads us to point fingers at fate or others, bemoan social injustice, or lament the lack of divine justice. It’s this refusal to accept that escalates a limited sorrow into overwhelming misery. Clearly, the extent of our denial directly correlates with the intensity of our suffering.
为什么我们无法接纳变化？关键在于内心有一种恒常的设定。这种设定是以自我需要为中心的，觉得我的身体应该永远健康，我的家人应该不离不弃，我的朋友应该无比忠诚，我的事业应该一切顺利。我们甚至会暗暗觉得：像我这么好的人，所有天灾人祸可以发生在别人身上，但不应该发生在我身上。
Why do we struggle to accept changes? At the heart of this resistance is the belief of permanence, rooted in the idea that everything should remain as it is. This belief is centered on our own self-needs. We expect our bodies to never falter, our family members to always be present, our friends to always be unwaveringly loyal, and our careers to progress without obstacles. We may even harbor the thought: “Since I am such a good person, while others may face natural and human-made disasters, I should be spared.”
有了这份恒常的设定，我们还会执著于此，进而形成依赖，不希望它有任何变化。因为变化就意味着失去依赖，意味着现有的平衡被打破。所以，一旦生活中出现不如意，就会因抗拒引发焦虑、不安、恐惧，甚至嗔恨、愤怒等破坏性的情绪。
Holding onto a belief of permanence, we become attached and develop a reliance on it, resisting any change for fear of losing stability and disrupting the current balance. Consequently, when life falls short of our expectations, this resistance cultivates stress, anxiety, fear, and even destructive emotions such as anger and hatred.
我们希望生活健康、婚姻美满、家庭幸福、事业顺利，希望一切都在稳定的状态下，感觉那才是幸福。但这个世界并不像我们以为的那么稳定，事实上，它时刻都处在无常变化中。如果不能正确面对逆境，人生就会充满随时可能引爆的定时炸弹。
We all aspire to lead lives marked by good health, a fulfilling marriage, a blissful family, and a successful career. We cling to the belief that stability in these areas means happiness. Yet, the truth is that our world is anything but stable; it is impermanent and ever-changing. When we are ill-equipped to handle adversities, life becomes a minefield, ready to detonate at any moment.
摘自《心灵创造幸福》
作者：济群法师
Excerpted from:
Happiness Comes from the Mind
By Master Jiqun
